I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Someone shattered a urinal.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize