do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
