i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize