You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
