you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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