You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
