I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize