I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize