Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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