the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We left the knife in your bed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
