I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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