check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
