It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
