Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
