Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
