Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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