Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
