I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
