We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
