oh god the rape fog is back!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
