Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just forgot I was standing up.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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