even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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