I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
