Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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