hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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