i just wanna soil my oats bro
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
