i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
