So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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