Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A+ Viking dick
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
