I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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