dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize