you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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