You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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