Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
