Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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