How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
