He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I intend to get homeless drunk
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize