I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
