Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
