Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
