Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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