I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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