YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
