DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
