Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
