dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
