I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize