I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize