i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize