So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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