"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
