My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Found the puke drawer
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
