Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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