I wish i was in the wii world.
im holly from the hills drunk
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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