in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
