no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
