There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize