what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
