I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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