I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you would pick up someone in the library
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
