worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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