I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
