True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
