so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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