We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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