somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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