im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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